AnAsTaSiA lOxLeY

- When you lose someone, another one enters… like teachers! HA! x

- ok rant over ;) x

I’m logging off tumblr until tomorrow. HAPPY NEW YEAR! All my love, Annie! xxx

OK! I hardly ever make New Years Resolutions, but I figured this could actually help me out with confidence and becomming the true “ME” here’s my list (no specific order):

1) LEARN TO PLAY THE GUITAR PROPERLY.

Believe it or not, I have tried this multiple times… but I can never find the time as I’m usually doing NOTHING - which is my excuse for “something”. I call it “relaxing time” but really I just sit watching TV or go on my computer and make a long list in my head of what I have to do and just worry. I can’t get over it OR budge them out of my mind. So this year I’ve decided to learn the guitar properly (God knows if i’ll actually do it….).

2) DON’T WORRY AS MUCH.

As I’ve already stated, I worry. I worry A LOT and it seriously has to stop! It’s got to the stage that I have produced anxiety over most things that I do. I’ve been worrier all of my life, but I really need to see the world through peace of mind and not ask silly questions about life that nobody knows the answer to.

3) BE KINDER TO MYSELF.

I, like many, am my worst own enemy. I tell myself bundles of things that aren’t true. I have days where I feel I’m the most rotten thing on this planet and everyone would be better off without me. Other days I think “what the hell was I thinking?? Everyone tells me I’m the nicest person they’ve ever met and I’ve helped a lot of people in my life. Including people I’ve never met or seen. Yeah, it’s only a little contribution, but sometimes the little things make all the difference.” I also repeatedly tell myself “I can’t do this” and when I say “yes you can! YOU CAN DO IT!” I end up tagging on the line “Oh, stop lieing to yourself…”. I constantly look at myself and hate what I see.

I go out of my way a lot for others, even when I don’t want to - I think I should be kinder to myself this way too. Consider how important it is on a rate of 1 - 10 and make my decision (I know I’ll probably fail on this front, but it’s worth a try - do what I think’s right/best for me on occasion not always others) Even saying that makes me feel really selfish (I’ll end up regretting this within a few days).

4) LET THINGS GO.

I’m terrible for beating myself up over little things. A small recent one would be missing my driving lesson…. :S I felt really bad that i missed it, he even texted back saying don’t worry about it it’s alright no problem - but I was thinking about it for the whole day, I felt really bad - he went out of his way to book me a lesson and then I forgot about it and went up my nans… I also beat myself up about tiny errors I make, I’m one of those perfectionists where everything has to be perfect (to a standard that I like/approve of - I even get nervous when someone else does something, but I actually let that go because I love them and trust them :D).

5) READ MORE BOOKS.

I’m not a big reader, but I think it’ll be a good way for me to relax. I need to find the right ones. I’ve read some good ones, but there are others where I get bored because the characters seem to not do much in about 10 pages. I don’t like ones where you have to do a lot of problem solving either - I want to relax my mind. It’s nice to have one you can relate to, or have an interest in, that is busy but not overdone.

6) CREATE MORE ART & JEWELLERY.

This is a great thing for me. It gives me something to concentrate on and take my mind of petty worries my mind makes up. I love my art, although I’m no good, I don’t mind because it’s not going to be displayed for people to see :). Jewellery is also a great contender in my interests. I’ve now got a book with some great ideas so I’ll have a crack at that! Why not? I enjoy it, so that’s all that matters. Do more things I enjoy :)

7) MEDITATE MORE.

I’ve only started meditation a couple of days ago, I think it’s working with my anxiety, It helps me relax and think about what I can do to stop it in the future. I believe it’ll make me a greater and wiser person when confronted with certain situations. It can help towards a greater peace of mind and happiness for myself and others I encounter. Hopefully I can stick to it. However I don’t actually know if i’m doing it right as I’m self teaching from a Christmas present which was a book and DVD…

8) TAKE MORE PHOTOS!

More photos of my friends and family and some photography of things I see in the great outdoors.

9) USE LESS ELECTRICITY.

I should start using less electricity for the environment (and my mums bills). I’m pretty good at this anyway, but we can always do a little more to help with the Environment - Instead of using an electrical device I could probably start on my other resolutions i.e. Guitar playing, book reading, meditation and creating Art/Jewellery.

10) BE MORE ORGANIC.

I think I’ll start to be more weary about animal testing products and bad chemicals used in food and drink. I don’t know if I’ll be able to do this as it is hard to find non-animal testing products and organic ones, especially if it’s a main ingredient in a meal and the supermarket doesn’t really give you a good variety of options :/ I’ll give it a go, I’m pretty good with it anyway like the electricity resolution but it won’t hurt to try that bit harder.

wow… 10 resolutions… I don’t know if I’ll remember them all! Let alone keep them all up!! :S One year… 10 resolutions… I CAN DO THIS! - see I’ve started already ;) xx